Nov 12 2008
Are You Sure It’s Not A Scheme
Bob had always opined that marriage was a waste of human emotions and weddings were insults to men’s intelligence and hard-earned savings. Was he tricked …
“Why? Is Rosemary pregnant?” I asked Bob when he called and invited me to his wedding. Rosemary and Bob had been living together for ten years. There was rumor about them getting married five years ago. They denied it and we all felt stupid to have helped spread the rumor. This time it sounded real as the word came straight out of the horse’s mouth.
“No, she is not pregnant. Just that Rosemary’s mother won the Christmas lucky draw and the first prize was this wedding reception,” Bob explained.
“You’re sure this is not a scheme?” Bob and I went to high school together and could tolerate all levels of rudeness from each other.
“Why does it matter, as long as I’m not paying?” Bob had always opined that marriage was a waste of human emotions and weddings were insults to men’s intelligence and hard-earned savings.
On the wedding day, Rosemary looked great, and the slimmest she had been in ten years. She had the high cheeks of make-up models. She would easily qualify and even win a weight loss contest or with some luck, a beauty pageant. Her girl friends were so jealous that only one person commented on her weight loss. When Bob kissed the bride, the girl friends couldn’t help weeping in joy for her. Ivy and Joan, in particular, having always known about Rosemary’s dream of getting married and disappointment, cried loud and long. Their make-up was trashed, but they could not stop those tears running down like rain. Beth, my ten year old daughter, whispered to me, “Daddy, why are they crying like that? Are they all right?”
“They sure are all right, Honey. They are just so happy that this is really happening.”
The rest of the wedding reception went very well indeed, except that I could notice Bob looking a little uneasy whenever he was not talking to his guests. I got close to him, thumped his chest gently and asked him with a wicked smile, “so, is it as bad as you thought?”
Bob pretended to be upset, “I thought I had come prepared, but this is really bad. Really bad, pal.”
Later that day, Bob made a short but touching speech thanking his bride, the bride’s parents and his own parents. I thought he was exceptionally serious and solemn for the care-free guy I’d known for thirty years. “Weddings are unbelievable mood enhancers,” I said to myself.
They went away to the States for money moon shortly after the wedding. It had to be a good long one that felt like months to me. Early one morning I heard a helpless child crying. Slowly waking up, I realized that it was in fact my phone ringing.
“Sorry to wake you up, pal, I need your help.” I could hardly recognized Bob’s alarmed and hoarse voice.
“It’s OK, pal. Is everything all right?”
“Nothing’s right.I think Rosemary’s dying. She is in a coma. I don’t know what to do. Can you come over?”
I was at their place minutes later. Rosemary was breathing slowly, and at times holding her breathe. She was all skin and bones. Just one look at her and I realised I had with me a dying cancer patient. I had called for the ambulance service before I left home and they got there at the same time. Rosemary could not make it to the Emergency Room in spite of the resuscitation we commenced at their place and continued during the ambulance ride.
Bob was in total silence. He looked as if he had not slept or shaved for a week. He was staring at the far side of the ER and holding his fists.
“Bob, I’m sorry. Rosemary has just passed away.”
“I know. Thanks for helping, pal.”
“Bob, what’s going on?”
“Advanced stomach cancer. She did not tell me but I sensed that something’s not quite right. She even tried to stay away from me. I found out how bad it was after cracking her email password and reading the emails she exchanged with the cancer center in New York. I knew she had always dreamed of getting married and a great wedding. I wanted her to have everything but I was sure she would say no if I proposed. I came up with this story that I was dying from cancer myself and made her promise to marry me. She said yes two days later after all the crying’s done.You know the rest of the story.”
“So the lucky draw was part of your scheme?”
“The lucky draw? No, you know I’d never lie to you. Her mother did win the lucky draw and the wedding reception. You wouldn’t expect me to pay for something like that, would you?”
