Nov 15 2008
13 ways to stay calm
1. Slow down. When you are faced with failure or adversity, don’t panic or get cross. Concentrate and remember that “even if I fail, at least I have learned ….”. You might still fail. At least you’d have learned to make the right reaction at the wrong time.
2. Admit that you are wrong and the others are right. Listen to the other person’s opinion and point of view carefully. Address your own faulty opinion with courage. Your EQ will come through so much stronger, having had this emotional work-out.
3. Don’t fall for baits. The world is offering minor favors to hinder you from thinking and making wise decisions. Don’t waste your hard-earned money and precious time on bad investments sold by means of free bonuses.
4. Choose friends that help raise your EQ. There are many things you can’t choose in life like color of your skin and of your eyes, where and when you were born, etc. You can always choose your friends. Some friends are helpful if you want to feel pitiful. Others are helpful if you want to be emotionally strong. Don’t ask the rock band to play you light music for meditation.
5. Try to rephrase your thoughts in simple neutral sentences and fewer words. This will help you focus on the issue in question whether than the rhetorics which may bring about negative feelings and ideations.
6. Don’t take criticisms personal. When others disagree with you, it may simply mean that they hold a different opinion. Don’t crucify yourself and think that the disagreement means that you are stupid or inferior (even if that’s true, it doesn’t matter as long as you don’t show it).
7. Communicate your thoughts. Don’t simply shut up or back off in the face of disagreement. Even if the others still disagree, at least the communication will help you understand the matter better.
8. Don’t fight back if rejected. Ask the person why he has rejected your suggestion. He might not have heard you well and clear enough to agree.
9. Don’t jump into conclusions. If someone turns down your invitation, he may in fact have previous commitments rather than think lightly of you.
10. Don’t treat everything as weighing equal. Concentrate on the urgent and important. Even if you flop the trivial tasks, so what? Didn’t you say they were trivial?
11. Prepare, prepare and prepare. Preparation works much better than valium to take the stress off important tasks. It has the extra benefit of assuring favorable outcome.
12. Tell others what you really want. You could have hinted it a dozen times. There’s always the possibility that no one has captured the hint, rather than that no one wants to give you just that.
13. If you are really pissed, tell that to a friend. Make sure he is a friend well chosen (see number 4)
